The past couple of years have seen some pretty terrible events inflicted on the world. Climate change, Brexit, Donald Trump… and then came Covid 19, causing thousands of deaths, a massive strain on the NHS and the cancellation of Hard Skin’s much anticipated gig at The Lexington. The kids couldn’t even hang out on the streets with geezers from their own manor, instead being forced to sniff glue on their own. The nations’ morale was already sinking lower than Crystal Palace’s chances’ of promotion, so the loss of the Hard Skin gig was devastating. There’s a lot of bad shit going down and it’s at times like this that the kids really need Hard Skin to tell ‘em what it’s all about.
However, in a noble attempt to catch up, rectify the situation and tell it like it is, I managed to arrange a meeting with Hard Skin’s legendary bass player and intellectual giant, Fat Bob, to discuss what’s been going on and what’s likely to be happening next. All you birds and geezers out there, heed these words carefully, for this is the wisdom of a man who been around a bit…
However, in a noble attempt to catch up, rectify the situation and tell it like it is, I managed to arrange a meeting with Hard Skin’s legendary bass player and intellectual giant, Fat Bob, to discuss what’s been going on and what’s likely to be happening next. All you birds and geezers out there, heed these words carefully, for this is the wisdom of a man who been around a bit…
Meeting in his local café down in Gipsy Hill, Fat Bob is already halfway through the second plate of his mid-morning fry-up, with a several cans of lager hidden under the table to be consumed at his usual rapid pace. Well, I mean, some standards have to be maintained! First thing I wanted to ask was his opinion about the pandemic…
‘It’s been a fuckin’ liberty, ain’t it? We’ve been itching to get out there and tell the kids what it’s all about, cos, like, there’s a lot to talk about and, just like Jimmy said, you can’t trust the government to tell us the truth! We’ve just wanted to be there for ‘em and tell it like it is, even if it isn’t…’
How have you been coping with the dangers of infection?
‘Well, I’ve been alright because, you know, not being big-headed or anything, but I’m a fine figure of a man and, well, it stands to reason, the bigger you are, the more immunity you’ve got! That’s bloody obvious. Any fuckin’ virus comes sneakin’ along towards me, it’ll take one good look, realise that it’s up against a superior specimen, turn around and fuck off somewhere else. It’ll probably go for some poncey bleedin’ Spurs fan or something like that.’
What about Nipper and Johnny Takeaway…
‘Well, Takeaway, even on the quietest of days he’s up to his eyeballs on penicillin cos of all the dodgy birds he messes about with, the dirty sod. Seriously, one whiff of his charm is enough to wipe out 99% of all the germs found in a crusties’ arm-pit, so no fuckin’ virus is gonna mess with ‘im! And as for Nipper, well, he’s Scottish, so I don’t think any self-respecting virus is going to know what to make of that. I mean, he’s from Glasgow, so that’s potentially more lethal than a virus, any day of the week. If he can put up with all that muck that they call food up there, one little virus ain’t gonna cause any problems at all. Even if it did get close to him, he’d just wanna fight it and I don’t reckon its’ chances at all…’
‘It’s been a fuckin’ liberty, ain’t it? We’ve been itching to get out there and tell the kids what it’s all about, cos, like, there’s a lot to talk about and, just like Jimmy said, you can’t trust the government to tell us the truth! We’ve just wanted to be there for ‘em and tell it like it is, even if it isn’t…’
How have you been coping with the dangers of infection?
‘Well, I’ve been alright because, you know, not being big-headed or anything, but I’m a fine figure of a man and, well, it stands to reason, the bigger you are, the more immunity you’ve got! That’s bloody obvious. Any fuckin’ virus comes sneakin’ along towards me, it’ll take one good look, realise that it’s up against a superior specimen, turn around and fuck off somewhere else. It’ll probably go for some poncey bleedin’ Spurs fan or something like that.’
What about Nipper and Johnny Takeaway…
‘Well, Takeaway, even on the quietest of days he’s up to his eyeballs on penicillin cos of all the dodgy birds he messes about with, the dirty sod. Seriously, one whiff of his charm is enough to wipe out 99% of all the germs found in a crusties’ arm-pit, so no fuckin’ virus is gonna mess with ‘im! And as for Nipper, well, he’s Scottish, so I don’t think any self-respecting virus is going to know what to make of that. I mean, he’s from Glasgow, so that’s potentially more lethal than a virus, any day of the week. If he can put up with all that muck that they call food up there, one little virus ain’t gonna cause any problems at all. Even if it did get close to him, he’d just wanna fight it and I don’t reckon its’ chances at all…’
What do you think about having to wear face-masks in public?
‘Well, err, hahaha…you’re not a grass, are you? You’re not wired-up? ‘Cos I’m not admitting nothin’! Nah, I can smell a grass from a mile away… you’re safe. Anyway… we’ve all had occasions when it’s been necessary to wear face-masks around town, know what I mean? In our line of business… not that we’ve got any particular line of business, y’know what I’m saying? But sometimes they come in pretty bloody handy, like, when you’re trying not to draw any attention to your boat-race… I mean, you wouldn’t want some well-meaning but loose-lipped civilian copping an eyeful of yer handsome features while you’re in the middle of a job and then pointing you out to some nosey constable who really doesn’t need to know the details, do yer? Even though, as I am at pains to stress, any business or jobs that we might be involved in would naturally be completely legit and highly unlikely to appear on Crimewatch. But it just tidies things up when you can wear a face mask, so I don’t know what all these cunts are moaning about. Like, normally, if you were to burst into a Post Office or a Bank, just for example, wearing a facemask, they’d be suspicious straight-off and the alarms would be wailing… But at the moment, they’ve got notices on the door insisting on it! I mean, for anyone with devious thoughts about lining their pockets with unmarked readies, it really has been a very handy development…’
How did you cope with the pubs being shut?
‘Well, let’s just say that, considering how much we drink on a regular basis, there was always going to be a few accommodating landlords that were more than keen to let us into their premises, even if it was on the sly. I mean, we’ve always been welcomed to the regular lock-ins on our manor and it wasn’t much different from that, only, instead of them starting at 11pm, they now start from midday. Apparently the pigs got wind of it pretty early on, but once they heard it was us that was doing most of the drinking, they quickly decided they didn’t want to get involved… I mean, no one, especially the law, should come between a bloke and his beer!’
‘Well, err, hahaha…you’re not a grass, are you? You’re not wired-up? ‘Cos I’m not admitting nothin’! Nah, I can smell a grass from a mile away… you’re safe. Anyway… we’ve all had occasions when it’s been necessary to wear face-masks around town, know what I mean? In our line of business… not that we’ve got any particular line of business, y’know what I’m saying? But sometimes they come in pretty bloody handy, like, when you’re trying not to draw any attention to your boat-race… I mean, you wouldn’t want some well-meaning but loose-lipped civilian copping an eyeful of yer handsome features while you’re in the middle of a job and then pointing you out to some nosey constable who really doesn’t need to know the details, do yer? Even though, as I am at pains to stress, any business or jobs that we might be involved in would naturally be completely legit and highly unlikely to appear on Crimewatch. But it just tidies things up when you can wear a face mask, so I don’t know what all these cunts are moaning about. Like, normally, if you were to burst into a Post Office or a Bank, just for example, wearing a facemask, they’d be suspicious straight-off and the alarms would be wailing… But at the moment, they’ve got notices on the door insisting on it! I mean, for anyone with devious thoughts about lining their pockets with unmarked readies, it really has been a very handy development…’
How did you cope with the pubs being shut?
‘Well, let’s just say that, considering how much we drink on a regular basis, there was always going to be a few accommodating landlords that were more than keen to let us into their premises, even if it was on the sly. I mean, we’ve always been welcomed to the regular lock-ins on our manor and it wasn’t much different from that, only, instead of them starting at 11pm, they now start from midday. Apparently the pigs got wind of it pretty early on, but once they heard it was us that was doing most of the drinking, they quickly decided they didn’t want to get involved… I mean, no one, especially the law, should come between a bloke and his beer!’
I heard that due to the lockdown situation, you and Johnny Takeaway briefly got involved in the delivery business…
‘Yeah, well, I was at home one night and this bloody advert kept coming on the telly, with this fuckin’ irritating catch-line, ‘did somebody say just eat’. Well, it wasn’t me, that’s for fuckin’ sure, cos I’d already scoffed-down a bowl of egg fried rice. But then I started thinking, what do people need even more than food in these hard times? So I come up with the thought, ‘did somebody say just drink?’ It was such a great idea… I mean, Johnny worked out the details, like, and with my trusty XR3 at the ready, we could be round your gaff with the booze quicker than Boris out of a brothel raid… Basically, someone calls up, tells us what he wants and gives us his card details… which could also be kept for future references, know what I mean? So it all seemed like a great scam until we attempted the first delivery. Once we filled up the motor with boxes of lager, it just became too much temptation and as soon as we got in the car, we started drinking it. Next thing we knew, we were bombing around the South Circular, giving abuse to pedestrians, racing the pigs and getting progressively pissed. So the business didn’t last too long, but it was a fucking great night out and when we woke up the next morning, parked-up on some random geezers’ front-lawn, we knew we were legends!’
Well, the delivery business may not have succeeded, but if the rumours are to be believed, the members of Hard Skin have also been keeping themselves busy with various solo projects…
‘Yeah, it’s true. We didn’t want to do anything as Hard Skin while there was no chance of doing it fer the kids and making a bit of dosh along the way, so we all found different things to keep our creative urges busy… and I don’t mean forging a pile of dodgy lottery tickets, that was nothing to do with us and anyone who says it was is gonna get a damn good slappin’! It was Takeaway who first decided to do something else and somehow managed to get it going with that Skinead O’Connor… I mean, this bird with serious cropped hair gets in touch and lets him know that she wants his services... Well, he’s not gonna turn down an offer like that, the dirty sod! It also turned-out she was looking for a new songwriter and he came up with a massive hit for her, ‘Nothing Compares to Glue’. Some people thought it was just a soppy piece of pop, but really it’s all about serious issues, like, what’s gonna give you the best buzz, Airfix or Uhu? Anyway, the international success of the record kept Takeaway pretty busy for a while, especially when they set-up a massive world tour. But that’s where the problems started, cos it turned out that they were even having these bloody lockdowns in other countries as well, so they weren’t allowed to play any of the gigs. Between that and all the time they had to spend in isolation every time they went to a different place, it was a total disaster, but they still tried to complete the whole tour just to show the kids that they really meant it… Some cynics have claimed that Johnny just wanted to spend more time in luxury hotels with all the free food, booze and cable TV he could ever want but, nah, he was doing it for the kids…’
‘Yeah, well, I was at home one night and this bloody advert kept coming on the telly, with this fuckin’ irritating catch-line, ‘did somebody say just eat’. Well, it wasn’t me, that’s for fuckin’ sure, cos I’d already scoffed-down a bowl of egg fried rice. But then I started thinking, what do people need even more than food in these hard times? So I come up with the thought, ‘did somebody say just drink?’ It was such a great idea… I mean, Johnny worked out the details, like, and with my trusty XR3 at the ready, we could be round your gaff with the booze quicker than Boris out of a brothel raid… Basically, someone calls up, tells us what he wants and gives us his card details… which could also be kept for future references, know what I mean? So it all seemed like a great scam until we attempted the first delivery. Once we filled up the motor with boxes of lager, it just became too much temptation and as soon as we got in the car, we started drinking it. Next thing we knew, we were bombing around the South Circular, giving abuse to pedestrians, racing the pigs and getting progressively pissed. So the business didn’t last too long, but it was a fucking great night out and when we woke up the next morning, parked-up on some random geezers’ front-lawn, we knew we were legends!’
Well, the delivery business may not have succeeded, but if the rumours are to be believed, the members of Hard Skin have also been keeping themselves busy with various solo projects…
‘Yeah, it’s true. We didn’t want to do anything as Hard Skin while there was no chance of doing it fer the kids and making a bit of dosh along the way, so we all found different things to keep our creative urges busy… and I don’t mean forging a pile of dodgy lottery tickets, that was nothing to do with us and anyone who says it was is gonna get a damn good slappin’! It was Takeaway who first decided to do something else and somehow managed to get it going with that Skinead O’Connor… I mean, this bird with serious cropped hair gets in touch and lets him know that she wants his services... Well, he’s not gonna turn down an offer like that, the dirty sod! It also turned-out she was looking for a new songwriter and he came up with a massive hit for her, ‘Nothing Compares to Glue’. Some people thought it was just a soppy piece of pop, but really it’s all about serious issues, like, what’s gonna give you the best buzz, Airfix or Uhu? Anyway, the international success of the record kept Takeaway pretty busy for a while, especially when they set-up a massive world tour. But that’s where the problems started, cos it turned out that they were even having these bloody lockdowns in other countries as well, so they weren’t allowed to play any of the gigs. Between that and all the time they had to spend in isolation every time they went to a different place, it was a total disaster, but they still tried to complete the whole tour just to show the kids that they really meant it… Some cynics have claimed that Johnny just wanted to spend more time in luxury hotels with all the free food, booze and cable TV he could ever want but, nah, he was doing it for the kids…’
In your case, you got involved in a project which I know you’ve been working-on for a very long time…
‘Yeah, that’s right. I wanted to do something that was gonna really stretch my musical and creative potential. As everyone knows, there are certain albums that really get what it’s all about, involving characters that any bird and geezer can identify with and songs that will stay in your heart forever. In my case, I’m sure it’ll come as no surprise when I tell you that I’m talking about the classic ‘That’s Life’ by Sham 69. I still remember hearing it for the first time and it was just like it was talking about me and my life! Jimmy, God bless ‘im, he knew just what it was like to be one of the lads on the streets of South London, even if he was unfortunately stuck in Hersham at the time, which didn’t make him a Cockney by any stretch of the imagination... He must’ve read about it somewhere, but either way, he’s a genius, a true poet that we could all relate to. He used words and everything! I mean, think about it, he could’ve been rich and famous but he didn’t want that, so after ‘That’s Life’ he deliberately made shit albums so that Sham never even had a chance to sell-out! He was so dedicated to his roots, that’s what he did! He was a real spokesman for his generation, even if it was a generation that didn’t really have anything to say… Anyway, true followers of Sham will remember that they tried to make a dramatised version of ‘That’s Life’ on TV and that gave me an idea… how about ‘That’s Life – the Musical’? It would be like ‘Quadrophenia’ but without all the fucking clever bits that messed it up. And no fucking Mods, obviously, just punks and skins united for the weekend… I was aiming for a big production and had a prestigious venue, of course, but when I said ‘punks and skins united’, there was obviously still gonna be some rucks involved. That’s just natural, but when the Royal Albert Hall got wind of potential trouble, they lost their nerve and refused to let the show go on. So, it still hasn’t happened, but I’m now looking for a suitable venue in Southall and as soon as I sort that out, it’ll still go ahead…’
Most controversial was Nipper’s project, the first All-Gay Skinhead / Hip-Hop band…
‘Well, yeah, we’ve all had doubts about Nipper, so it shouldn’t have been a big surprise, even if he is married and has 14 kids… I mean, that’s just a traditional thing in Glasgow. We knew he was working on something while he was isolated up in Jockland, but he kept the details quiet until it was released, so me and Johnny were as stunned as everyone else. Suddenly, everyone was talking about this album, ‘Straight Outta Compton Street’, by a new band called ‘NWA’ (‘Nipper Wants Arse’),not to be confused with any similarly-named combo’s. I was surprised with it but I have to admit, he’s written some real bangers and I don’t mean sausages! It’s inspired a whole new genre, ‘Back-Door-Gangsta Rap’ and there’s even a film coming out about it, called ‘Boyz N The Bogz’. He’s already working on a follow-up album, ‘Bendaz-4-Life’…
‘Yeah, that’s right. I wanted to do something that was gonna really stretch my musical and creative potential. As everyone knows, there are certain albums that really get what it’s all about, involving characters that any bird and geezer can identify with and songs that will stay in your heart forever. In my case, I’m sure it’ll come as no surprise when I tell you that I’m talking about the classic ‘That’s Life’ by Sham 69. I still remember hearing it for the first time and it was just like it was talking about me and my life! Jimmy, God bless ‘im, he knew just what it was like to be one of the lads on the streets of South London, even if he was unfortunately stuck in Hersham at the time, which didn’t make him a Cockney by any stretch of the imagination... He must’ve read about it somewhere, but either way, he’s a genius, a true poet that we could all relate to. He used words and everything! I mean, think about it, he could’ve been rich and famous but he didn’t want that, so after ‘That’s Life’ he deliberately made shit albums so that Sham never even had a chance to sell-out! He was so dedicated to his roots, that’s what he did! He was a real spokesman for his generation, even if it was a generation that didn’t really have anything to say… Anyway, true followers of Sham will remember that they tried to make a dramatised version of ‘That’s Life’ on TV and that gave me an idea… how about ‘That’s Life – the Musical’? It would be like ‘Quadrophenia’ but without all the fucking clever bits that messed it up. And no fucking Mods, obviously, just punks and skins united for the weekend… I was aiming for a big production and had a prestigious venue, of course, but when I said ‘punks and skins united’, there was obviously still gonna be some rucks involved. That’s just natural, but when the Royal Albert Hall got wind of potential trouble, they lost their nerve and refused to let the show go on. So, it still hasn’t happened, but I’m now looking for a suitable venue in Southall and as soon as I sort that out, it’ll still go ahead…’
Most controversial was Nipper’s project, the first All-Gay Skinhead / Hip-Hop band…
‘Well, yeah, we’ve all had doubts about Nipper, so it shouldn’t have been a big surprise, even if he is married and has 14 kids… I mean, that’s just a traditional thing in Glasgow. We knew he was working on something while he was isolated up in Jockland, but he kept the details quiet until it was released, so me and Johnny were as stunned as everyone else. Suddenly, everyone was talking about this album, ‘Straight Outta Compton Street’, by a new band called ‘NWA’ (‘Nipper Wants Arse’),not to be confused with any similarly-named combo’s. I was surprised with it but I have to admit, he’s written some real bangers and I don’t mean sausages! It’s inspired a whole new genre, ‘Back-Door-Gangsta Rap’ and there’s even a film coming out about it, called ‘Boyz N The Bogz’. He’s already working on a follow-up album, ‘Bendaz-4-Life’…
In response to this, a European band called Trollfront released a song called ‘Hard Skin Are Okay if You Like Gay Shit’. Some people saw this as criticism, but Hard Skin quickly recognised it as a supportive gesture…
‘Well, yeah. I think some people got confused by the lyrics…I mean, I don’t know much about Trollfront and I have heard they may be a bunch of cunts that don’t get their rounds-in, but what they were saying is fine by us. Why shouldn’t people who like gay stuff enjoy Hard Skin? Anyone into the gay scene can come along and enjoy Hard Skin, we’re not afraid of our obvious sexual appeal. We’ve all got our own preferences, as Nipper has shown. Takeaway has a thing for gay coppers… perhaps it’s the uniforms, but let’s just say, it’s the only time he puts the fist-in first, rather than the boot (the dirty sod!) Nipper’s into anything on offer and myself, well, gay isn’t my kind of thing, but I’ve got bulges in all the right places, plus a few others, so I can understand when geezers turn their eyes in my direction… So, nahhh, I don’t think Trollfront were being sarky, I think they understood what we’re all about… In fact, we appreciated it so much, we even played a cover of the song at a couple of our gigs… It’s a classic! We’re happy to support the LGBPNS movement… Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Punks’N’Skins… We like Gay people, particularly Lesbians… We've watched a lot of their work.’
The other recent controversy to be called-out was when it was disclosed that Hard Skin had briefly supported Brexit. However, in retrospect it later turned out that this was just an understandable mistake, perhaps with a few beers involved…
‘Well, like many people, I think we were confused by all the shit that the Brexit referendum stirred-up. I mean, we’re smart… not University-smart or anything poncey like that, but we’re street-smart which is what really matters. But on this occasion, we’d all been down the pub for a few drinks and on the way home, via the off-license, someone said they’d seen on TV that Brexit would mean there was going to be a Hard Border between North and South London! Of course, that seemed like a great idea to us… No more fucking Spurs or Arsenal supporters allowed down to Millwall games… not that we’re scared of ‘em, clearly, but it’s just that it seems tidier if we only leave ‘em stunned and bloodied on their own side of the river. We don’t wanna see their sorry arses littering the streets down here in the South…
‘Well, yeah. I think some people got confused by the lyrics…I mean, I don’t know much about Trollfront and I have heard they may be a bunch of cunts that don’t get their rounds-in, but what they were saying is fine by us. Why shouldn’t people who like gay stuff enjoy Hard Skin? Anyone into the gay scene can come along and enjoy Hard Skin, we’re not afraid of our obvious sexual appeal. We’ve all got our own preferences, as Nipper has shown. Takeaway has a thing for gay coppers… perhaps it’s the uniforms, but let’s just say, it’s the only time he puts the fist-in first, rather than the boot (the dirty sod!) Nipper’s into anything on offer and myself, well, gay isn’t my kind of thing, but I’ve got bulges in all the right places, plus a few others, so I can understand when geezers turn their eyes in my direction… So, nahhh, I don’t think Trollfront were being sarky, I think they understood what we’re all about… In fact, we appreciated it so much, we even played a cover of the song at a couple of our gigs… It’s a classic! We’re happy to support the LGBPNS movement… Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Punks’N’Skins… We like Gay people, particularly Lesbians… We've watched a lot of their work.’
The other recent controversy to be called-out was when it was disclosed that Hard Skin had briefly supported Brexit. However, in retrospect it later turned out that this was just an understandable mistake, perhaps with a few beers involved…
‘Well, like many people, I think we were confused by all the shit that the Brexit referendum stirred-up. I mean, we’re smart… not University-smart or anything poncey like that, but we’re street-smart which is what really matters. But on this occasion, we’d all been down the pub for a few drinks and on the way home, via the off-license, someone said they’d seen on TV that Brexit would mean there was going to be a Hard Border between North and South London! Of course, that seemed like a great idea to us… No more fucking Spurs or Arsenal supporters allowed down to Millwall games… not that we’re scared of ‘em, clearly, but it’s just that it seems tidier if we only leave ‘em stunned and bloodied on their own side of the river. We don’t wanna see their sorry arses littering the streets down here in the South…
But wouldn’t that have also made things difficult when you wanted to follow Millwall north of the river…
‘Not at all! I mean, if the Millwall wanna go north, or anywhere else come to that, who’s gonna stop us? The filth certainly aren’t up for it, so we go wherever we want. But it turned out that this was all a big misunderstanding and that the whole deal was never on the books, regardless of how much we’d been drinking. It was just something concerning Northern and Southern Ireland, which is nothing to do with Millwall. When we looked into the rest of the Brexit deal, it really was a load of bollocks, particularly as it’s gonna mean an end to the booze-cruise deals. Ironic, because no-one would’ve supported that cunt Farage if they hadn’t already been pissed-up on cheap lager, so they’ve really fucked themselves over. We’ve always thought that Hard Skin was about uniting Punks’n’Skins all across the World, which includes Europe, and that’s really important to us. They’ve got cheap beer over there and plenty of really fit birds… But let’s face it, those Europeans need us to tell ‘em how it is, otherwise they end up singing songs about ‘Kids on the Autobahns’, and that just sounds stupid! But it now seems like we’ll have to fill out forms and stuff before they’ll let us go and play over there again and I don’t think we can be arsed to do that. Not unless they start offering us some really serious cash…’
Hard Skin are obviously one of the most important bands that have emerged from the UK over the past thirty years, but the mainstream press and radio have continued to ignore your influential and inspirational music. Do you feel that the mainstream media is biased against you?
‘Well, funnily enough, there’s a bit of a story to all of that and it possibly could’ve gone a very different way. Back in 1996 when we released our first album, ‘Hard Nuts and Hard Cunts’, a copy was sent to John Peel and he loved it, natch! After all, he was a man known to have good taste, so of course it was gonna blow him away. A few days later, we get a phone call from the BBC saying, ‘John Peel wants you to come in for a session!’ Well, you can imagine how excited we were… our favourite radio DJ wanted to have a piss-up with us! The only thing that confused us a bit was when they said we’d have to be there at the BBC at 10.00 in the morning, but no worries. We just thought, great, John Peel must be a serious drinker! So we decided to carry-on drinking from the night before and staggered into the BBC bar the following morning. We were fucking plastered, even though Peel hadn’t turned up… we just thought he’d been delayed having a couple of pints somewhere else on his way-in and he’d be joining us soon. But at some point down the line, someone realised that we were drinking the bar dry and they didn’t like that, so next thing we knew, we were getting kicked out and told never to come back… sadly, even despite Peels’ efforts, we’ve never been allowed back there…’
‘Not at all! I mean, if the Millwall wanna go north, or anywhere else come to that, who’s gonna stop us? The filth certainly aren’t up for it, so we go wherever we want. But it turned out that this was all a big misunderstanding and that the whole deal was never on the books, regardless of how much we’d been drinking. It was just something concerning Northern and Southern Ireland, which is nothing to do with Millwall. When we looked into the rest of the Brexit deal, it really was a load of bollocks, particularly as it’s gonna mean an end to the booze-cruise deals. Ironic, because no-one would’ve supported that cunt Farage if they hadn’t already been pissed-up on cheap lager, so they’ve really fucked themselves over. We’ve always thought that Hard Skin was about uniting Punks’n’Skins all across the World, which includes Europe, and that’s really important to us. They’ve got cheap beer over there and plenty of really fit birds… But let’s face it, those Europeans need us to tell ‘em how it is, otherwise they end up singing songs about ‘Kids on the Autobahns’, and that just sounds stupid! But it now seems like we’ll have to fill out forms and stuff before they’ll let us go and play over there again and I don’t think we can be arsed to do that. Not unless they start offering us some really serious cash…’
Hard Skin are obviously one of the most important bands that have emerged from the UK over the past thirty years, but the mainstream press and radio have continued to ignore your influential and inspirational music. Do you feel that the mainstream media is biased against you?
‘Well, funnily enough, there’s a bit of a story to all of that and it possibly could’ve gone a very different way. Back in 1996 when we released our first album, ‘Hard Nuts and Hard Cunts’, a copy was sent to John Peel and he loved it, natch! After all, he was a man known to have good taste, so of course it was gonna blow him away. A few days later, we get a phone call from the BBC saying, ‘John Peel wants you to come in for a session!’ Well, you can imagine how excited we were… our favourite radio DJ wanted to have a piss-up with us! The only thing that confused us a bit was when they said we’d have to be there at the BBC at 10.00 in the morning, but no worries. We just thought, great, John Peel must be a serious drinker! So we decided to carry-on drinking from the night before and staggered into the BBC bar the following morning. We were fucking plastered, even though Peel hadn’t turned up… we just thought he’d been delayed having a couple of pints somewhere else on his way-in and he’d be joining us soon. But at some point down the line, someone realised that we were drinking the bar dry and they didn’t like that, so next thing we knew, we were getting kicked out and told never to come back… sadly, even despite Peels’ efforts, we’ve never been allowed back there…’
It’s a shame that you were denied access to the airwaves over such an understandable mix-up…
‘Yeah, well, Peel was a big supporter of the Oi! movement, right from the early days. A lot of people try to ignore it, these days, but he always said that ‘Teenage Kicks’ was his all-time favourite song, which just goes to show that he’d enjoyed putting the boot-in during his younger years. A lot of people also think he went bald in later-life, but in fact he’d just opted for a grade one! He had bands like the Rejects and the Upstarts recording sessions for his show and he even had those bell-ends Skrewdriver on there, although obviously that was before they went dodgy…’
You mean, all the political stuff they got into…
‘Politics? Nahh, I don’t know about that, I’m talking about when they got into all that drugs scene… writing songs about ‘White Powder’ and shit like that. We don’t support stuff that goes up yer nose, cos booze goes down yer throat, nuff said! They really lost track of the things that matter…’
Some time ago, Hard Skin were a big part of the movement to reclaim the word ‘Cunt’ for Skinhead culture. Obviously, within the Oi scene that was always a big deal, but in the past few years the use of the word as legitimate lingo has even gone mainstream…
‘Yes, and we’re very proud of our part in making ‘Cunt’ legitimate once again. We knew, even back at the beginning, that it was going to be controversial but we also knew that if we didn’t reclaim it, no-one would ever be able to use good Anglo-Saxon language with any real confidence again. I can understand how birds, or me Mum, might take offence, but at the same time, it would also be wrong if we couldn’t level-it-up against those that deserve it, namely, the filth. If a Copper ain’t a Cunt, what else is he? And if we can’t point that out in a song, then what’s the point of writing anything? But since that step-forward, allowing punks and skins to address coppers in the correct fashion, it’s gone even further. Cunt has now become the correct way to address Boris Johnson and, again, if ever there was a Cunt who needed to be called a Cunt, there he is! I think it’s important that we embrace our Language and Culture, to prove that the greats of English literature - William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Micky Fitz – didn’t die in vain.'
‘Yeah, well, Peel was a big supporter of the Oi! movement, right from the early days. A lot of people try to ignore it, these days, but he always said that ‘Teenage Kicks’ was his all-time favourite song, which just goes to show that he’d enjoyed putting the boot-in during his younger years. A lot of people also think he went bald in later-life, but in fact he’d just opted for a grade one! He had bands like the Rejects and the Upstarts recording sessions for his show and he even had those bell-ends Skrewdriver on there, although obviously that was before they went dodgy…’
You mean, all the political stuff they got into…
‘Politics? Nahh, I don’t know about that, I’m talking about when they got into all that drugs scene… writing songs about ‘White Powder’ and shit like that. We don’t support stuff that goes up yer nose, cos booze goes down yer throat, nuff said! They really lost track of the things that matter…’
Some time ago, Hard Skin were a big part of the movement to reclaim the word ‘Cunt’ for Skinhead culture. Obviously, within the Oi scene that was always a big deal, but in the past few years the use of the word as legitimate lingo has even gone mainstream…
‘Yes, and we’re very proud of our part in making ‘Cunt’ legitimate once again. We knew, even back at the beginning, that it was going to be controversial but we also knew that if we didn’t reclaim it, no-one would ever be able to use good Anglo-Saxon language with any real confidence again. I can understand how birds, or me Mum, might take offence, but at the same time, it would also be wrong if we couldn’t level-it-up against those that deserve it, namely, the filth. If a Copper ain’t a Cunt, what else is he? And if we can’t point that out in a song, then what’s the point of writing anything? But since that step-forward, allowing punks and skins to address coppers in the correct fashion, it’s gone even further. Cunt has now become the correct way to address Boris Johnson and, again, if ever there was a Cunt who needed to be called a Cunt, there he is! I think it’s important that we embrace our Language and Culture, to prove that the greats of English literature - William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Micky Fitz – didn’t die in vain.'
..
Talking about verbal, a lot of American bands seem to be re-branding ‘Oi’ as ‘Street-punk’ … how do you feel about this?
‘Nah, it doesn’t make sense, does it? When you think about it, the kids are on the streets, but the bands are up on a stage. But you wouldn’t call us ‘Stage-punks’, would you? Not unless you wanted a good boot in the bollocks, anyway… It sounds fuckin’ poncey. We come from the streets, natch, and we still use ‘em to get around. But when we play our Punk, we do it on a stage or in a studio, so when they say ‘street-punk’, that just ain’t telling it like it is. We know what it’s all about and it’s all about ‘Oi!’
So, having covered everything I wanted to ask about, I was going to finish by asking about the bands’ plans for the future, but Fat Bob had spotted the time and had some more immediate plans…
‘Look at the fuckin’ time! We’ve been talking a lot more than necessary and it was opening time ten minutes ago… you can get the first couple of rounds in for wasting me time… if you know what’s good for you!’
And so the afternoon continued... No messing about, we cross over to The Paxton and I ordered the beers so we could get down to some serious drinking. Apart from a short visit to the curry house down the road for some necessary sustenance around midnight, we carried on drinking until 3.00 in the morning, when Bob decided he had to go home in case any tasty birds were waiting for him…
Talking about verbal, a lot of American bands seem to be re-branding ‘Oi’ as ‘Street-punk’ … how do you feel about this?
‘Nah, it doesn’t make sense, does it? When you think about it, the kids are on the streets, but the bands are up on a stage. But you wouldn’t call us ‘Stage-punks’, would you? Not unless you wanted a good boot in the bollocks, anyway… It sounds fuckin’ poncey. We come from the streets, natch, and we still use ‘em to get around. But when we play our Punk, we do it on a stage or in a studio, so when they say ‘street-punk’, that just ain’t telling it like it is. We know what it’s all about and it’s all about ‘Oi!’
So, having covered everything I wanted to ask about, I was going to finish by asking about the bands’ plans for the future, but Fat Bob had spotted the time and had some more immediate plans…
‘Look at the fuckin’ time! We’ve been talking a lot more than necessary and it was opening time ten minutes ago… you can get the first couple of rounds in for wasting me time… if you know what’s good for you!’
And so the afternoon continued... No messing about, we cross over to The Paxton and I ordered the beers so we could get down to some serious drinking. Apart from a short visit to the curry house down the road for some necessary sustenance around midnight, we carried on drinking until 3.00 in the morning, when Bob decided he had to go home in case any tasty birds were waiting for him…
Before we parted company, I asked if there was a website for anyone who wanted more info about Hard Skin. Bob, in all his charm, simply replied ;
‘Tell ‘em to look it up for their bleedin’ selves!
‘Tell ‘em to look it up for their bleedin’ selves!